Every summer has a story….
It's just life and shit with my reflections on it. Authentic Discourse from the mind of a GA Peach. Come inside, it's pretty cool in here.
Every summer has a story….
I’ve been neglecting my poor Tumblr. I use this as a journal of reflection on life, love, inter-personal relationships, and intra-personal growth. Lately, I feel like all I’ve been doing is working. And by lately, I mean, for months now. Aside from the golden, fleeting moments I do get to spend with my friends or spend an hour or two on the phone with my mama, I’m just…. at work. And it’s only so many times I can come to Tumblr and talk about how dope my mama is (she REALLY is) and how amazing my friends are (they REALLY are), because one, I already know that, two, that’s not changing. So, even though I’m beyond grateful for those two perfect aspects of my life (as close to perfect as humanly possible, anyway), it can get redundant. I feel like I’m in a cycle of the same ol shit. I have no answer to “What’s new with you?”, and it’s noticeable now. I mean, I’m making steps to make moves professionally, but they’re baby steps. And that’s fine. Because I do think that’s exactly how all of that is supposed to work out. But if you’ve been reading my Tumblr for any amount of time and especially if you’ve been here since I started using it, you’ll know that my life is usually revolving around some sort of extreme. I need to be RUNNING to something. Smashing into something. Constantly. That’s what I’m lacking. And I don’t like it. I need…. Something new.
So… one of my best friends just told me she spent her whole morning reading my entire Tumblr. And she told me she has always been glad I made it through that awful breakup, she had never felt proud of me for it, until she read the posts I wrote as I was working my way through it. That was dope. I mean, I’ve posted on here that I’ve had strangers tell me that they felt like they were going through it with me, or inspired by the story or whatever. And that was some cool shit. I just wrote through it because, that was all I could do. But to have a friend say she is proud of me, I don’t know. It jut did something for me today. Then she says she can’t wait until I’m in love again. And THAT’S what really got me thinking. It’s no secret that I love LOVE. I have a big heart, and I wear it on my sleeve. I know and appreciate that love is amazing, that it’s healing, that it’s powerful. I love to see people IN LOVE. It’s always pure, and awesome to behold. To be around. But I’ve never been told by somebody else that they can’t wait until I’M in love. It kinda tripped me out. She said that’s when I’m at my best. That “Chariell in love is like a Supernova.” I suppose that might be true. That I’m like a supernova. But I don’t know that I feel like I have to be in love with a person to be at my best. I’m in love with life and I’m in love with me. I mean, I REALLY am. It’s cliche sometimes and people just say it to say it, but I truly am in love with the person I’ve become over the past few years. I feel like I’m at my best right now! I know how I am when I’m in love with a man. Or, should I say, how I WAS. I’ve changed drastically since the last time I was in love with somebody else. At this point, it was years ago. I don’t know what the new me is going to look like in love. But Supernova’s a good start, I suppose. I’ll tell you one thing. I can definitely wait for it to come. I’m not looking for love. It’ll come to me when the universe knows I’m 100% ready. I can’t say that I am. I might be. I don’t know. I’ll get close to thinking I might be ready to find out if I’m ready to be in love again, then I’ll run into some bumps on the dating road and pull back over. It took a looooooooooooooong time to rebuild this heart of mine, it’s more precious to me now that it’s ever been. It’s not fragile, but I’m a little cautious. When it’s time for me to get back into the fast lane and throw caution to the wind, I’ll know. Being in love is beautiful. The most incredible feeling ever. It will happen for me again when it’s supposed to.
Well…. life isn’t fair. That’s why bras come in different sizes.
So let’s talk about how MOTHERFUCKING REAL global warming is. It was 40° a few days ago. Right now, it’s 93°. Mother Nature said fuck Spring.
The ending to TheSuperFriends Theme Song:
AND IF YOU THREW A PARTY, AND INVITED EVERYONE YOU KNEW… YOU WOULD SEE THE BIGGEST BOTTLE’D BE FROM ME AND THE CARD ATTATCHED WOULD SAY POUR UP CUZ U IS MY FRIIIIEEEND